Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Multiple Parenting Personalities

I am a Gemini which means I'm used to having multiple personalities in a way. I shouldn't mind that being the parent of a sensory defensive child makes me take on dual roles, often which are in conflict with one another. I often don't even see it coming.                      

You try to make the right choices as a parent of any child. 

One thing to know about my family and my two children (a boy who is sensory defensive and his younger sister) is that their sibling rivalry is alive and well. It always has been and I suspect it may always be. They bug each other regularly and sometimes it comes to blows or at least something physical. My line is the physical and I've been trying harder than usual to enforce this policy. Nip it in the bud as it were. 

The other night, as usual, they got into it over something or another right before bed. I wasn't privy to anything other than the girl showing me afterward that her brother had pushed his long fingernails (and trust me ... they are long) into her skin on her arm and YES I could see the marks. Not getting out of this one Mr. And so... what would the parent of two kids in such a situation do? I figured it is only reasonable to have to trim your nails when they become a weapon. And so we did. 

Spotlight suddenly comes on in full force on Sensory Parent #2 who I forgot temporarily was even in this play and/or scene. Tada! Here comes the sensory issue... the boy keeps his fingernails long because when they are cut short they feel very weird and uncomfortable and he has trouble doing many of the things he normally does. Ugh. Of course I had forgotten that but then again... is it still unreasonable to have trimmed them? It makes me sad. 

Sometimes I think I know what I'm doing and then sensory defensiveness and its issues come into view and I have to question myself yet again. It comes with the package I suppose but some days it just makes me sad. 

Has sensory processing disorder ever made you have to question something you did as a parent that without it would have seemed just right? Do tell. 


  1. You do your very best Sue, and that's all you can do.

  2. Thanks so much for the comment Anonymous. Every day is a chance to learn. He lived through it also. Some may be him having to figure out that feeling a little different isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes I think he doesn't give himself enough credit.