Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Multiple Parenting Personalities

I am a Gemini which means I'm used to having multiple personalities in a way. I shouldn't mind that being the parent of a sensory defensive child makes me take on dual roles, often which are in conflict with one another. I often don't even see it coming.                      

You try to make the right choices as a parent of any child. 

One thing to know about my family and my two children (a boy who is sensory defensive and his younger sister) is that their sibling rivalry is alive and well. It always has been and I suspect it may always be. They bug each other regularly and sometimes it comes to blows or at least something physical. My line is the physical and I've been trying harder than usual to enforce this policy. Nip it in the bud as it were. 

The other night, as usual, they got into it over something or another right before bed. I wasn't privy to anything other than the girl showing me afterward that her brother had pushed his long fingernails (and trust me ... they are long) into her skin on her arm and YES I could see the marks. Not getting out of this one Mr. And so... what would the parent of two kids in such a situation do? I figured it is only reasonable to have to trim your nails when they become a weapon. And so we did. 

Spotlight suddenly comes on in full force on Sensory Parent #2 who I forgot temporarily was even in this play and/or scene. Tada! Here comes the sensory issue... the boy keeps his fingernails long because when they are cut short they feel very weird and uncomfortable and he has trouble doing many of the things he normally does. Ugh. Of course I had forgotten that but then again... is it still unreasonable to have trimmed them? It makes me sad. 

Sometimes I think I know what I'm doing and then sensory defensiveness and its issues come into view and I have to question myself yet again. It comes with the package I suppose but some days it just makes me sad. 

Has sensory processing disorder ever made you have to question something you did as a parent that without it would have seemed just right? Do tell. 

Monday, February 6, 2012

Can you hear me? The evidence is likely contradictory.

I have not been a very good sensory mama blogger of late. Been too busy with the regular machinations of life with a sensory kid. If you've got such a child, you may recognize a few of these... battling over meals, trying to get them to wear clothes they've said are fine only to find out they are not wearing them... and so much more. 

I believe I left off on the hearing aid issue with a young boy unable to handle the thought of a gooey substance in his ear for even a few seconds in order to make a hearing aid mold. That was back in September. 

Fast forward to January and we have had numerous regular visits between my boy and an ESD (Educational Service District) worker to help him understand his hearing loss, hearing aids, possible benefits of wearing them, etc. He finally has a temporary set but struggles to adjust to the feedback that happens when he doesn't push them in far enough. Ah the yin and yang of sensory issues... not in far enough = fuzzy feedback noises (no good) vs. in far enough = discomfort of a tiny rubber foreign object inside ones very sensitive ear canal (no good). Fun. 

We have gotten to the point that the boy knows he must wear them at least a half a day at school weekly in order to get to hang out once a week at an after school program he enjoys. I didn't want to pit those against one another but figured it was only fair that he try to compromise the tiniest bit. 

The thing at this point is that the boy has worn them a couple of times for a few hours at a time and while he doesn't think they help much, he can do it. To be honest, I don't want to currently fight for more than the one day a week because I know how ugly it can get. Maybe that makes me an ineffectual parent or maybe one who understand her boy's sensory issues. I'm not quite clear on this these days. He will no doubt have to be seen again at the ESD soon enough and I am sincerely hoping they can test his hearing with and without the hearing aids to show if it is making a difference at all for our boy. At least then we'd be armed with some "evidence". 

When it comes to sensory issues, however, evidence can always be contradicted.